'80s Flashback "WTF?"s and Sour Screenwriters

'80s Flashback "WTF?"s and Sour Screenwriters

Sep 17, 2009

A Closer Look: The A-Team Movie

The 1983 Flashback No One Asked For: Because Hollywood is convinced that old TV shows from the early ‘80s somehow equal big box office in 2009, "The A-Team" will soon be reincarnated on the big screen by director Joe Carnahan, God of the mindless, fast-food action flick Smokin’ Aces.

The FAIL: The cast – which includes Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley, Jessica Biel and UFC fighter Quinton “Rampage” Jackson – will either deliver a welcome surprise or a pink slip to the casting director. I haven’t seen something this eclectic since I visited the bathroom after my latest late night Taco Bell run … which was something you probably didn’t need to know.

The WTF?: They can try their hardest to pass off this guy “Rampage” Jackson as an adequate Mr. T replacement, but you and I both know ain’t no one cool enough to replace Mr. T. And I pity the fool who thinks otherwise!

The One Where Two Screenwriters Claim Someone Stole Their Idea

Hey, guess what – there’s an wanna-be screenwriter out there who thinks someone in Hollywood stole their brilliant idea! And today the sun came up! Most recently, screenwriters Greg Crowder and Tony Freitas claim Universal stole their script and turned it into the movie Love Happens, which hits theaters this weekend.

Crowder and Freitas are attempting to either block the release or obtain a piece of the film’s profits, which they estimate to be in the completely fictional (and baffling) ballpark of, oh, $100 million. But since it’s entirely likely this lawsuit will be dismissed faster than you can say “Jennifer Aniston sucks,” perhaps Crowder and Freitas can begin work on their next script: Damn, The End of Our Careers Just Happened.

And Speaking of Screenwriters, This Guy Won’t Ever Read Your F**king Script

The big to-do online this week centered on an exhaustive editorial in the Village Voice from screenwriter Josh Olson (A History of Violence) who goes on and on about how painful and time consuming it was to read someone else’s script. Not just someone else, but a friend of a friend who he didn’t really know. And because this friend of a friend turned out to be a pretty crummy writer, Olson was upset that he had to spend time figuring out a way to let this guy down when all it got him in the end was some pretty pissed-off friends.

Since the editorial hit, other writers have been throwing virtual tomatoes at Olson because damn the man who’s not in the mood to be nice anymore. And while Olson probably is an overpaid, self-indulgent brat in real life, the guy kinda has a point. Just because you’re an aspiring writer who yearns for advice and more Hollywood contacts doesn’t mean a paid professional should bend over backwards to help someone they barely even know … for free. Because that takes time … and the more time you spend doing someone a favor, the less time you spend doing your own job.

That said, next time I see Josh Olson, I’m totally asking him to read my f**king script … twice. Just because.

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