Who's in It: Lindsay Lohan, Chris Pine, Samaire Armstrong, Bree Turner, Missi Pyle
The Basics: Lindsay Lohan kisses a loser — the kind who wears glasses (ew) — and her good luck goes bad. That extends to this entire film too, by the way.
What's the Deal? Did Lindsay Lohan lose some kind of bet? Like where the consequence was that she automatically had to star in the next horrible script sent to her agent? Or maybe the director of Welcome to Mooseport has career-damaging dirt on her. Like, worse than supposedly being romantically connected to Brett Ratner. I know, what could be worse than that, right? But it could happen. Hollywood is a dirty place.
Not of This Earth: This is one of those movies in which, because one of the plot elements is somewhat supernatural (in this case, it's bad-luck superstitions–turned–reality), the filmmakers decide that no logic is necessary at all. Everyone can be something other than human and it doesn't matter because it's supposed to be a lighthearted fantasy. For example: Lohan has to run around Manhattan kissing a team of professional male dancers to find the one who kissed her and ruined her luck. When she does this, only one of them turns out to be gay. One.
You Know What's Funny? Overflowing Washing Machines That Fill an Entire Room With Suds, That's What! Anything to get Lohan wet or splashed or covered with mud or feces or used chewing gum. It's like an even nastier homage to the teen-splashing festival that was New York Minute. What is it with these movies about hot young actresses being soiled at every turn?
Hey, Everybody! You Love McFly! They're this British boy band that hasn't quite made that big a splash in the U.S. yet. This movie was going to be their golden ticket. It's pretty much a big ad for their barely shaved faces and dumb music. Maybe they should have tried to get a collective role in Poseidon instead.