Who's in It: Kuno Becker, Alessandro Nivola, Miriam Colon, Tony Plana, Stephen Dillane
The Basics: It's very important to have a dream. Because if you have a dream, then you can work very hard and persevere and make your dream come true. The guy in this movie had a dream and he worked very hard and persevered, and he made his dream come true. And if you fall asleep during this movie, which is likely, you can have a dream yourself.
What's the Deal? Here's all you need to know about this movie: The soccer-playing kid is very good and yet his father wants him to join the family lawn-care business and "keep your feet on the ground and stop chasing stupid dreams." See, Dad didn't get the memo about dreams and how important they are. But it's a good thing he didn't, really, or there'd be no movie. There would only be 8,000 other movies exactly like it.
What's Good About This Incredibly Predictable and Lifeless Movie: Alessandro Nivola (Junebug, Laurel Canyon) as the preening, David Beckham-ish character. When he's on-screen, he saves it from turning completely into some kind of ESPN Original Movie.
A Sensation You've Never Heard Of: This movie was released in 2005 in almost every other country in the world (read: countries that care about soccer) and was such a big hit that Goal! 2: Living the Dream is already finished and Goal! 3 is in preproduction. Gee, I can't wait.
Movie Executives Love Titles That Just Glide Off the Tongue: Because Goal! was too punchy and precise, some genius came up with the anticlimax predicate, The Dream Begins. It makes me want to go up to a box office somewhere and shout the first word, then mumble the remainder of it. But I won't. I have other, bigger dreams.