Movie Buzz

The week's top movie talk. By Mike Standish

Clooney's Lone Ranger, Depp's Tonto & Blade Runner 2

Sep. 30, 2008

1

W
Too Soon The stock market has crashed into oblivion. Banks are failing. Seemingly everything is spiraling downward into oblivion. This trailer may not exactly cheer you up.
2

I Am Legend Prequel
Before the Legend To hell with it. I command that prequels be made of every single movie ever. Here’s a spoiler: He still dies in the first one.
3

Nottingham
Two-Face Russell Crowe will play the Sheriff and Robin Hood. Man, if only Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves could have had two Kevin Costners!
4

Lone Ranger
Off the Depp End George Clooney might play the Ranger opposite Johnny’s Tonto. Something I’ve never really understood is why they call him the Lone Ranger when he pretty clearly has a buddy. Another thing I don’t understand: Why make a Lone Ranger movie??
5

Revolutionary Road
Taking the High Road I take exception to Leo and Kate hatin’ on the ‘burbs in the trailer. I ditched Seattle for suburbia, and I’m fine. Sure, I drink myself to sleep every night and walk through each day in a bleary-eyed haze, but how’s that any different from the city?
6

Max Payne
This One’s for You There’ll be a “gamer-dedicated cut” DVD in addition to the PG-13 theatrical version. Strangely it won’t feature more sex and violence. You know, because gamers certainly aren’t interested in that. They wanna see Max talk about his feelings.
7

Valkyrie
Hit(ler) Man The trailer is pretty damn good. Everyone gave Tom Cruise crap about the eye patch, but after Tropic Thunder, I am ready to give him another chance. Also, wouldn’t it be awesome to put Mr. Mister’s “Kyrie” on the soundtrack? No? I’m alone in thinking that? Fine.
8

Bruno
The Return of Bruno Watch Sacha Baron Cohen strut down the catwalk in this audience vid from Milan. Now that everyone’s in on the joke, it’s not so funny. There’ve gotta be some rednecks out there who still haven’t seen Borat, right?
9

Wild Hogs 2: Bachelor Ride
Running on Empty I officially pronounce this the most unnecessary sequel of all time. Who exactly is dying to know more about these old, leathery dudes? Are you kept awake at night, thinking, “Man, I wonder if Tim Allen still fits into leather chaps”?
10

10. Blade Runner 2
Repli-Can’t I officially pronounce this the second-most unnecessary sequel of all time. If only because it’s written by those Eagle Eye hacks.