Who's in It: Jennifer Garner, Timothy Olyphant, Sam Jaeger, Kevin Smith, Juliette Lewis, Fiona Shaw
The Basics: I would tell you The Basics if I knew what they were. But I can't. So I plan to just give spoilers. I have no choice. Because this stupid, disorganized movie makes practically no sense. Ready? Here goes: Garner's fiancé dies, so she moves in with his three best male friends. She finds out that the dead guy had secrets that shake her faith in their relationship. She starts doing Olyphant. One of the other guys confesses his love for her. Smith swallows pills. Lewis shows up and makes everyone organic food and dresses slutty. Seriously, I have no idea what it's even supposed to be about.
What's the Deal? It's from Susannah Grant, the writer of Erin Brockovich, which I remember feeling was fairly coherent. I can only guess that someone high up had it in for Jennifer Garner and sabotaged the editing room. Something. Because its tone is all over the place. The action goes nowhere. Or else it goes fishing. Or else it goes to that weird wacky romantic-comedy land where no one is allowed to behave like a rational human being.
Who Tries to Save It: Garner is charming when she's allowed to be. Smith is funny when they're not making him put things in a blender and turn it on without — oops! — putting the lid on it. And Lewis never fails to be her weird, awesome self. I would pay to see a movie about a bizarre love triangle between these three. Or one where they solve crimes together. Anything but this.
It's Not a Film About Grief, Friendship and Healing Without a Little Product Placement: Thank you, Celestial Seasonings, for invading. I forget how much I love your Sleepytime tea, the one with the cuddly bears on the box and the delicious, calming blend of chamomile and spearmint. But this movie (Boxes of it on the kitchen counter! Corporate logo T-shirts on Smith! Endorsements by Lewis! More logo-slapped mugs on work desks! Tea everywhere!) reminded me, and I went and bought a box of it on my way home from walking out before the closing credits. Yes, I walked out and had a friend e-mail me and tell me how the last 15 minutes played out. It turns out I had already guessed it correctly. Either way, I owe that guy a beer.