Who's in It: Sharon Stone, David Morrissey, Charlotte Rampling, David Thewlis
The Basics: This cartoon for brain-damaged adults doesn't waste time. As the opening credits roll, Stone masturbates with a guy while driving a speeding car. Then she crashes the thing in the Thames, swims to safety — but not before finishing the business at hand — and survives without a scratch. Smirky middle-aged-vixen stare intact.
What's the Deal? Stone's character has gone from darkly, mysteriously sexy to being that drunk lady in the bar who can't stop talking dirty to you, and you think maybe she has Tourettes. Every other sentence out of her mouth is, like, "Let's f--k!" or "I know you want to f--k!" or "I'm hot, and you know you want me, so when do we f--k?!" You get embarrassed for her.
Nudity = Feminism: Then she takes off her clothes. Apparently Stone thinks this is important, to unapologetically show older women's bodies on screen, and I'm all for that. Truly I am. Everybody get naked. Why not? Hell, even Bob Hoskins did full-frontal in that last Judi Dench movie. But wow, look at that! Look at Stone's strangely gravity-and-age-defying breasts! They stand right up! I wonder how that happened? It's a biological miracle! Or something.
My Favorite Part: Besides all the soft-core, hilariously kinky sex, my favorite moment is when Stone tells another character that she writes about sex, murder, violence and "… all the basic instincts." There is nothing better than when a character announces the title of the movie. ("Wow, looky there at all those people trapped in 'the towering inferno.' I hope they make it out all right!") My friends and I all do a polite golf clap when it happens.
My Next Favorite Part: The doorbell rings. Stone is sitting alone in her villainess's lair with her back to the camera. She flips her hair in a sensually sinister manner. The door swings open. Her hair is that powerful.