Who's in It: The voices of Kevin James, Courteney Cox, Sam Elliott, Danny Glover, Wanda Sykes, Andie MacDowell
The Basics: Oh, good, another digitally animated talking-animal movie. I was just chatting with some friends about what's wrong with Hollywood and I said, "I want a new animated talking-animal movie every week from now until I die." And it looks as though dreams really do come true, because now there's a never-ending supply of digitally animated talking-animal movies. Even better? They're all exactly alike and feature Wanda Sykes as a sassy "fill in the blank with whatever animal you think is sassiest." I'm happier than a talking, surfing pig in mud.
What's the Deal? Even better than the fact that this is the 147th animated talking-animal movie to be released this year is all the great contemporary pop songs on the soundtrack blasting out of the speakers in THX. And also, there's a moral tucked into it all somewhere … something about standing up for yourself and others or whatever. Something you can grill your kids about when it's over so you don't feel like a bad parent for taking them to see it.
Nightlight Factor: High. There are some really terrifying coyotes in this movie. And they kill a major character. And they snarl and drool and are pretty awful. Your tiny ones, unless they're made of cast iron, will freak out and need to be carried home crying from the theater. This is not a guess. I guarantee it.
What's Good About It: These talking animals get drunk on milk and honey, and then they snowboard and throw raves in the barn late at night and resist the gender demands of nature. And by that, I mean all the male cows have udders. Even the one voiced by gravel-throated Sam Elliott. Udders.
Pre-Selling the Holiday Release: The old farmer (who we learn is a vegan, thereby making a barnyard full of animals superfluous) is seen reading Charlotte's Web. That's because the live-action feature version of the book, from Paramount and Nickelodeon, the people behind this one, is coming this December. There are no coincidences in this life, young people.